Dealing with men

• Men in any country will try and attract the attention of a solo female particularly if you “look” foreign. Most of the men are harmless so treat these situations as you would at home. Don’t be rude but don’t be naive either. Either walk away or give a firm “no”. In most cases this will work but if at any stage you feel threatened go to a cafe or shop and wait there. You can even talk to the owners to let them know what’s going on and they may help send him away.
• Wear a fake wedding ring.
• Don’t stare at men, this may be seen as an invitation.
• If you’re walking around at night, stick to the crowded areas.
• Don’t put yourself in situations that could lead to danger ie: isolated areas, the back of shops, alone in a bar or club, our alone late at night.
• Don’t EVER let a stranger buy you a drink unless you see the bartender pour it yourself and hand it to you! And never leave your drink unattended.
• Having said all that don’t let this discourage you from talking to men overseas. Most of them are friendly, helpful and you can learn a lot about their culture and country. I spoke with many men inAfricaand if I thought the conversation was heading in a direction I didn’t like I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything or simply ended the conversation.

We complain of there not being enough hours in the day or express the desire to just stop and rest and yet the very next moment sees us driving out to yet another dinner party or going to another movie that we may have already seen or catching up with a friend for another coffee. There is nothing overtly wrong with these things in balance but so often they consume our lives. In activity we think we find meaning. If I told you to go and sit in the park for an hour without your MP3, without a book, without a friend; just you and nature what would your response be? Perhaps, “what is the point”? Maybe, “what a waste of time”? Or even “but I’ll get nothing out of it”. If we simply live then die and there is nothing at all outside of that then indeed we would be wasting precious minutes. We would want to be remembered as someone who lived a full life, busy, prosperous and well loved. As far as the world is concerned human existence is all about us from the moment we are born until our final breath. But if our epitaph reads “He/she had a really busy life, that’s all…” does that mean we discovered meaning and found true contentment outside of possessions and friends?

I think the need to be busy arises from 3 views:

1. To displace the thought that we are nothing more than a cosmic accident.
2. To fulfil the need to be loved and wanted.
3. The desire to make a difference in a world that for all intents and purposes makes no sense.

I don’t believe I am a cosmic accident and I know that there is someone who loves me with a love that cannot be matched on earth. And I believe I can, with His guidance and strength make a difference in this world that has God value that lasts rather than temporary earthly value. I have known this my whole life but have never really grasped it. Knowledge is one thing accepting its truth is another. And that is where I find myself today. The world is constantly telling me that I need to find my meaning in people and in tangible things; God is telling me that if I look to Jesus I will find out exactly who I am and as I begin to comprehend this truth I think my need to live a life of purposeless activity will be replaced by a dynamic life of glorious living, just as God promises (Ephesians 1:11).

NOTE: If you’re grappling with the meaning of life, the purpose of our existence, then can I suggest starting with a book called “The purpose-driven life” by Rick Warren.

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“You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period”.

Ahhh! And here I was thinking that eventually I would morph into some gorgeous Gisele Bundchen or Elle McPherson! I have never been happy with my body. When someone asks me what feature I like about myself I have always answered “my feet”, not just because I think I’d be a pretty hot foot model – I mean you want to see some shoes really look good in a magazine, use my feet – but because for my whole life I have had a great dislike of the body I was given. It doesn’t matter what people say or what my eyes actually see in the mirror, I see something else, something that deserves my disdain. And the ridiculous thing about it that this hasn’t changed even when my body has.

Hearing the above quote got me thinking, really , what am I so concerned about? The human body is nothing more than a shell. It does not define me despite what the world would have me believe. Consider the hermit crab; as he grows he need to crawl out of his shell and into a slightly bigger one. The new shell may look entirely different but he is still the same hermit crab. Of course I’m not suggesting the hermit crab has a whole individual personality like humans but you get my point. If I could remove my body, my shell, would I suddenly be without a personality, without character (whether flawed or not)? Would I become catatonic, just existing until my last breath? Absolutely not! The essence of who I am is found not in the flesh and muscle that make up my exterior but in the inner part of me. Of course the superficial aspects of a person’s personality can alter somewhat as their body does but not their entire character. I’ve never heard it said that someone had so radical a personality change that they became an entirely different person in every way when they lost or gained weight, had plastic surgery, became disfigured or lost a limb. Aspects of their personality might change, even if only temporarily, but their true essence is the same. A blind person for obvious reasons discerns your character by the way you speak, act and react; looks have no impact what-so-ever and nor should it for the rest of us.

And so, how to love the body we are given? Well I could ream off a half-dozen principles, philosophies or practices that could work but clearly that’s a case of not practising what I preach because I still only like my feet! However recently I started reading a book called “Who switched off my brain” by Dr Caroline Leaf. She discusses what research is now showing us about the chemical effects toxic thoughts can have on our life, so much so that not only do we come to believe the things we say about ourselves it also affects us emotional, mentally, spiritually and physically. I don’t necessarily agree with everything she says nor do I think it’s as simple as may be implied but I appreciate very much the theory she discusses. I am keen to finish the book and start looking at some of the tools she offers in this book and her new ones. Why? Because I’m sick and tired of defining my character by how I look and I hate it even more when I hear other people, especially young girls, constantly put themselves down or reject compliments, whether about their looks or their personality, based on their distorted perception that “body ALONE is beauty” and defines who we are. I am given one shell, for life. I may as well accept it and get on with living rather than try to climb out of my shell and into another. I am not a hermit crab!

Two nights ago I was sitting on my front porch and I had the strongest awareness of God’s presence. Though I couldn’t hear Him audibly I sensed Him saying “I just want you to talk to me and I want you to listen because I have things I want to tell you”. I sat there thinking about it and realised it was as simple as that. I thought about some of the close relationships I have and how I interact with those friends. There is no superficiality, no rituals, no pretence, and no awkward silence; instead there is meaningful and intimate two way conversation and times of quiet reflection. Why shouldn’t it be that way with God? He created us not because he was bored or lonely but for relationship with him. More astounding than that he had planned each of our lives before he had even created the world. “Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love…” (Ephesians 1:4).

If he is our Father and loves us more than we can imagine any earthly father could love their child then surely he wants meaningful conversation rather than lip-service. Have you ever heard a child pray? They pray with an unpretentious honesty that as adults we often lose. Their humility and complete trust in Jesus is sometimes astounding and it is as if they are indeed having a conversation with their dad. In fact it is something Jesus wants in all of us (Matthew 18:2-5). I want to start having that type of conversation with my heavenly dad once again whenever, however and wherever and just as my catch up’s with a close friend differ from day to day – text messages, lunch, a phone call or an email, deep conversation or crying on their shoulder – I need to remember that so to can my prayer. After all Jesus himself prayed in many ways both on his own and amongst the crowds. He prayed all kinds of prayers; prayers of praise to the Father (Matthew 6:9), prayers of thanksgiving and gratitute (Matt 6:9-13, Luke 10:21, John 6:11; 11:41-42), petitioning prayers and prayers spoken in anguish (Matthew 26:39-42; 27:46). Prayer should be conversation not a ritual; maybe I need to have another cup of tea with Jesus!

How can I as an Australian, celebrating Australia day possibly be considered racist by displaying the flag of my nation on my national day of pride? I have a few little flags around the house and some flag tattoos for the kids but I do this because I love my nation, with all her faults, and this is my day to show it.  By doing this I am not excluding those from other countries; I don’t care who you are, where you came from, what language you speak, or what colour you skin is because it is those very things that makes this nation what it is today. An “Australian” is not defined by colour, race or language, I embrace our multiculturalism and when I fly my national flag I do it for all those who consider this country their home whether permanently or temporarily.

We are indeed a multi-cultural nation and if you were not born here but have immigrated her for whatever reason whether because of greater opportunity, to be with family or because of devastation in your own country I embrace you and your culture. I am not asking that anyone change all those things that define their heritage because they bring these things to this country making us the nation we are today. Australian way of life is as richly diverse as the landscape itself and it’s only that way because of the multitude of people from other nations that have immigrated here. So I will not take down my flag because I fly it with a sense of pride in my country and all her people’s wherever they may be from. Happy Australia Day!

• Most international flights now allow online check in 24 hours prior to your flight. And if you do this you can arrive at the airport 2 hours before the flight rather than 3 hours (check with your airline first to confirm this). Checking in online also means you can choose your own seat.
• Some people like a window seat for the view but you will be too high to see anything once you’re cruising and half you’re flying on a long flight will be in the dark so it’s pointless for that reason. Others like it so they can lean against the wall but if you have a good travel pillow you won’t need to worry. I suggest an isle seat as you can get up and down without disturbing the other passengers.
• Seat guru is a website designed to help you find a seat that suits your preferences on your airline. http://www.seatguru.com/
• Don’t leave any of the tags on your bags from previous flights. This can lead to your luggage being inadvertently placed on the wrong flight.
• Keep a little pouch for your passport, tickets, boarding passes, GP letter so they are easily accessible and all in one place but always keep it in your bag so you don’t accidentally leave it behind.
• For Australian residents: If you spend $300 in one transaction on something you will be taking with you overseas (ie: camera, MP3) within 30 days of travel, you can claim back the GST. Just take your receipt and the goods and go to the claim desk once through customs. http://www.customs.gov.au/webdata/resources/files/travellers___english1.pdf
• At boarding time there always seems to be a rush for the plane. Wait until most people are on, then you can stroll on and to your seat straight away rather than wait in a cue and then sit for 20 minutes while everyone else boards.
• What to take on board:
  • Take a little refreshment bag on the flight. Include:
    • Chewing gum or lollies to reduce any ear pain during takeoff and landing.
    • Toothpaste and brush for long flights.
    • Deodorant.
    • Hand cream & lip balm (your skin and lips will dry out on long flights).
    • Take all your electronic equipment, including charging cables on board the plane. You don’t want to risk them being stolen or lost.
  • Take all medications (especially prescription) on board in case your luggage gets lost. Make sure you have your GP letter handy to show customs if required.
  • I’ve mentioned the lowepro camera sling (for a DSLR) in another post. This has extra space that I use for my electronic equipment and it can be considered a handbag meaning you can take that plus another bag on board (providing combined, they fall within the onboard baggage allowance).
  • A blow up travel pillow is a life saver on long flights. Get one that wraps around your neck so you don’t wake with pain from sleeping awkwardly.
  • You never know when your luggage may be lost so take a spare pair of underwear & a top just in case.
  • A pair of silicone ear plugs will help block out a lot of noise if you’re a light sleeper.
  • Bring a book and an MP3 player. There are only so many movies you can watch.
• Before your seated take out the things you think you’ll need and either keep them in a bag under your seat or in the seat pocket. That way you won’t have to keep getting your bag out of the overhead locker and rummaging through it.
• Most good airlines provide socks and sleep mask to block out light.
• They should also have water fountains somewhere on the plane. Every time you get up to walk or use the toilet get yourself a drink. Depending on the country you are in you can carry an empty water bottle on the plane but don’t buy an expensive bottle, just a supermarket bottle of water. Many airlines no longer stock bottles of water, only little cups.
• Remember that post 9/11 you are very limited as to what you can take on board and you can only carry certain liquids (either 50 or 100ml depending on the airline). Check this out before you pack you bags.
• Many airlines now have USB sockets where you can charge your electronic gear.
• ALWAYS declare whatever is asked of you on your incoming passenger form. It’s not worth risking a fine or worse to try and sneak something in. Customs officials will not listen to any explanation you have if you ticked ‘no’ when in fact you should have ticked yes.
• For long haul flights dress for comfort not style. 24 hours on a plane does not feel comfortable in restrictive clothes.
• Most airports have showers so if you have a stopover during a long flight and there is time, have a shower, you will be surprised how refreshed you feel.
• Some airports have free wi-fi just go to the information desk to get the password.

• To take a backpack or a suitcase? Often this will be a personal preference but I have only ever travelled with a backpack unless on short trips. I find it easier to get around with, particularly in places that have only stairs and not a lift. As well there are times that a suitcase will simply not be practical.
• A backpack with a small separate section down the bottom of the pack is handy for carrying your shoes, dirty clothes and toiletries to avoid your clothes getting smelly, dirty and wet. Those using a suitcase without a divider can use a piece of cardboard.
• When packing your luggage roll your clothes rather than fold them, you will have more space that way.
• Packing cells are a fantastic way of keeping your luggage sorted and surprisingly they take up very little extra space. You can buy them at most travel shops.
• You only need 3 pairs of shoes. Sneakers for lots of walking, thongs (flip flops) for shorter amounts of walking, beach etc… and for the ladies a pair of ballerina slippers which can be used both during the day and if you go somewhere a little fancy at night. Wear the sneakers on the flight to save luggage space. Don’t take hiking boots unless you’ll actually be hiking.
• Think laterally:
  • Some outdoor clothing stores sell reversible polo’s and jumpers if you want variety but need to keep your luggage small.
  • The same stores also sell pants that have zips on the legs to turn them into shorts.
  • For those who are going on long camping trips thermal tops can be versatile. In places such as Africa where the nights may be very cold but the days hot a thermal top can be used as a PJ top overnight but also worn first thing in the morning until it warms up. Polyester will likely make you sweat and will very quickly start to smell. Instead buy a 100% woollen thermal.
  • A nice sarong can be used for the beach, as a wrap when going out in the evening if not too cold and as a shoulder covering (providing its not see through) for any sites you may visit that requires shoulder to be covered.
  • When packing clothes for cold weather consider high performance warm weather gear that dries easily and weighs next to nothing (gore-tex, polypropylene and nycott). This will take up a lot less space than bulky clothes.
• Ensure you have at least one pair of clothes that cover the shoulders and knees for those visits you make to religious sites otherwise you may not be allowed in.
• A little black cardigan is the most versatile item of clothing you can take.
• If you need to take your own towel use a micro fibre one. Not only do they dry quicker but they take up much less space.
• Don’t waste space with big bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Take travel size ones and buy what you need when you arrive and then as you need it.
• Rather than washing your hair everyday use a spray on shampoo (available at any hair shop). Goes on like hairspray, wait 2 minutes then brush. Almost as good as if your hairs been washed.
• A small round hand cream container is a good item to safely store your jewellery in.
• Use a combination padlock to keep your luggage safe. A key is easier to loose.
• Are there things that you might only use once or twice and if so is it worth carrying them around for the whole trip? Consider buying them when you need them and then giving them away.  
• Take a supply of assorted zip lock bags; they will always come in handy.
• ALWAYS pack your own bag, you need to know what is in there when passing through customs. Pleading ignorance simply will not work.
• And remember…pack light!

• Be very wary of water in some countries where water is unchlorinated or has poor sanitation.
  • Avoid salad because if it was washed it will likely have been with local water that is not suitable for drinking.
  • Unless you want a nasty case of the runs don’t add ice to your drinks. Frozen water does not kill bacteria.
  • If buying bottled water ensure the seal is intact as some places will sell old bottles filled with tap water.
  • There are various methods of water treatment such as filters and  iodine tablets.
• Eat wisely, particularly in third world countries.
  • If it can be cooked, boiled or fried that’s safer but make sure it is cooked thoroughly.
  • Thick skinned fruit that can be peeled is generally safe.
  • Avoid unpasteurised dairy products.
  • Be wary of seafood especially shellfish especially in places like Africa and South-East Asia unless you saw it being caught (and in the ocean not some of the dirty delta’s and rivers).
  • Be wary of food stalls.
• If on large tours be vigilant with hand washing and use hand sanitisers. One person with a cold or gastro bug can quickly spread through a bus.
• Be aware that some anti-malarials can increase risk of sunburn. Slip slop slap!
• Deep vein thrombosis (DVT) is a risk with flying, more so with a long flight but can occur on the shorter ones too particularly if you are in the higher risk category (taking the oral contraceptive pill, smoker, overweight, age and certain medical conditions). This occurs when a blood clot develops in one of the deep veins in your leg. A risk associated with DVT is that part of the clot breaks off and travels to the arteries in your lungs which can be potentially fatal. The treatment for DVT consists of blood thinning medication that needs to be monitored closely with regular blood tests. This can be very complicated when overseas and more so if it was to be a long holiday. Prevention is better than cure!
  • Drink plenty of water and avoid alcohol! Long flights plus alcohol will dehydrate you and this increases your risk of developing DVT.
  • Try and walk around the plane every one to two hours and in-between those times do leg exercises. This will encourage circulation in your legs.
  • Compression stockings are very useful for encouraging circulation and can be purchased at pharmacies.
• If travelling in countries known for malaria, avoid perfumes, use insect repellent and sleep under mosquito nets.
• Don’t touch local stray animals. They may have rabies which, if you are bitten, requires immediate medical attention.